{"id":248,"date":"2017-10-29T17:57:32","date_gmt":"2017-10-29T17:57:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/agirlthatgaveashit.com\/?p=248"},"modified":"2017-10-29T17:58:01","modified_gmt":"2017-10-29T17:58:01","slug":"grief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/agirlthatgaveashit.com\/?p=248","title":{"rendered":"grief"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I had a dream of you again. I&#8217;m tired of missing you. I&#8217;m tired of dealing with the grief of losing you and the dreams I had for us.<\/p>\n<p>No truer works can be said and while you aren&#8217;t dead it&#8217;s as if you are because you are gone from me and never returning.<\/p>\n<p>The grief comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you\u2019re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it\u2019s some physical thing. Maybe it\u2019s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it\u2019s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2172\" src=\"http:\/\/beautythings.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/YWAM-Boat-capsized.jpeg\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 618px) 100vw, 618px\" srcset=\"http:\/\/beautythings.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/YWAM-Boat-capsized.jpeg 618w, http:\/\/beautythings.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/YWAM-Boat-capsized-300x165.jpeg 300w\" alt=\"\" width=\"618\" height=\"340\" \/><\/p>\n<p>In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don\u2019t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you\u2019ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out.<\/p>\n<p>But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what\u2019s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything\u2026and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.<\/p>\n<p>Somewhere down the line, and it\u2019s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O\u2019Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you\u2019ll come out.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2174\" src=\"http:\/\/beautythings.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/the_grief_cycle_by_theflickerees-d2yn4za.jpg\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" srcset=\"http:\/\/beautythings.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/the_grief_cycle_by_theflickerees-d2yn4za.jpg 600w, http:\/\/beautythings.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/the_grief_cycle_by_theflickerees-d2yn4za-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/beautythings.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/the_grief_cycle_by_theflickerees-d2yn4za-300x300.jpg 300w, http:\/\/beautythings.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/the_grief_cycle_by_theflickerees-d2yn4za-420x420.jpg 420w\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don\u2019t really want them to. But you learn that you\u2019ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you\u2019ll survive them too. If you\u2019re lucky, you\u2019ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I had a dream of you again. I&rsquo;m tired of missing you. I&rsquo;m tired of dealing with the grief of losing you and the dreams I had for us. No truer works can be said and while you aren&rsquo;t dead it&rsquo;s as if you are because you are gone from me and never returning. The [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-248","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/agirlthatgaveashit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/248","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/agirlthatgaveashit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/agirlthatgaveashit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agirlthatgaveashit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agirlthatgaveashit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=248"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/agirlthatgaveashit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/248\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":250,"href":"https:\/\/agirlthatgaveashit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/248\/revisions\/250"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/agirlthatgaveashit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=248"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agirlthatgaveashit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=248"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/agirlthatgaveashit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=248"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}