I saw you walking outside in a park like setting. You were on the other side of a short wood fence. I called to you and you turned to me. I asked you if we could talk and you didn’t want to. You called to Heather, and introduced your wife. I hugged you and told you I wished you every happiness no matter what that looked like. So I send you love, and hope that you have found happiness.

I found out I was pregnant last week. I was so happy. I thought, finally something you could never give me, something I always wanted. I had one week of excitement. One week of thinking this was how I move on but it wasn’t meant to be – at least not this time. I miscarried 1 week after learning I was pregnant. I still can’t believe it. The devastation, the loneliness, the embarrassment, the shame is too much to bare.

There will be another pregnancy down the road I’m sure. For now all I can do it breathe.