I dreamed of you again. I only remember seeing you with her and having to accept that you were happy and had moved on with her. Somehow it was thrown in my face and inescapable.

It’s hard this time of year. I remember all the good times. I’m moving forward without you, there’s no doubt about that in how I’m living. I’m sure the same could be said about you. I’m still stuck. Moving forward in how I’m living isn’t helping with my heart and being stuck in the past with you. I miss you so much. I tell myself it’s ok to miss you. When I think of you I tell myself it’s ok to love you, but I have to love you and let you go. Do you even think of me? Is this normal? We haven’t spoken in almost a year and it still hurts so much.

I finally did it this evening. I watched P.S I Love You for the first time since that night you and I watched it. Some things never change. It was just as devastating to watch this time only you weren’t here to hold me, to laugh at me, to love me.

P.S. I love you