Lucky me, it wasn’t a miscarriage, just a tubal pregnancy. I got to take a chemo shot in the ass that helped it flush itself out with out requiring surgery. Talk about devastating. Can’t help but wonder if it’s just not meant to be.

Saw an article about a man who built his dream home over his pond so he could fish from a hole in his living room floor. I thought of you. We could’ve done that. We could’ve done a lot of things.

I wonder how you are? If you ever think of me…. Some days are harder than others. Not a day goes by I don’t think of you. Sometimes I hate you and sometimes I miss you so much I can’t breathe.

My life is good mostly. It’s boring but dependable. Maybe a baby will eventually work out, maybe it won’t. I’m not ready to give up yet.

I love you and I let you go.