I woke up to a dream about you with such sorrow. I was trying to get a new cell phone and apparently I was still on your plan and the sprint lady wouldn’t help me because I wasn’t authorized on your account. Then suddenly I was having lunch out with someone we both knew in TX. I was inquiring about you and found out that you had started a construction business out there and it was doing well. I was telling the man I was with how I still miss you every day. He was trying to tell me you were great and happy and successful, and then he said to me “he loved you”. It was something to the effect of I need to leave you alone but the words “he loved you” were so loud and so profound and this is where I lost it. I remember my brain was trying to figure out a way to get him to lead me to you. I was desperate. I was crying and he was like “are you sure you want to order dessert?”.

and then I woke up. Tears in my eyes, choking back the sobbing and I’m left with this hole, this emptiness, this aching and no way to make it stop.

Where are you? Why haven’t you come for me? If you don’t feel the same then why am I so unable to move on? Something keeps pulling me back. Am I just crazy? Is there really no connection between us?

I love you and I let you go.