I’m having another baby. How lucky am I and to think I almost missed this chance. I still can’t help but think of you. I must be living in a dream world having idolized you in some way. I haven’t forgotten the bad stuff but it seems small in the grand scheme of it all. I’ve never experienced not being able to let go. It makes no sense that I could still feel how I do after so much time has passed?

What is the purpose? I don’t want to feel like this anymore.