It was a tough weekend for me. I wanted to reach out to you and it took all the strength I had to resist. I don’t understand why I can’t move on. I deserve someone I can trust. I deserve someone who will be faithful and positive. I know in my head you can not give me this. My heart wants that from you.

How did we get here? How do I move out of this place where I am stuck? What would you think if you knew of my blog? Are you happy with her?  Call him – don’t call him. Txt him – don’t txt him. This is the constant battle in my head. It’s relentless.

I feel like I can choose to be strong and have a possibility of a family some day or I can be weak and risk it all with you repeating the cycle that we have over and over again wishing for a different result.

Why does it have to be this way? Why can’t you love yourself enough in that I could be enough for you also?